Arden Fitzroy’s CVNTCLAVE at Greenside at George Street, Lime Studio, says what we all thought about Conclave out loud: ‘what a b*tch’.
Loosely following the widely acclaimed Conclave, and combining that plot outline with fascinating points of Vatican history, the show follows Dean of the College of Cardinals, Cvntus, a decades-long professedly humble servant of the Pope, well, the past two popes, anyway, they died within such a short time of each other, who has impeccably planned yet another conclave to determine who the next pope shall be.
Unlike Ralph Fiennes’ character in Conclave, Cvntus is quite aware of their talent for organisation, never missing a minuscule detail (in fact, always being the ‘designated sober one’ at Synods). Cvntus is also aware of their powerful position within the Vatican, and uses lists of grievous sins against the three papal front-runners to ensure each is unfit for the position. If this sounds like Conclave, I promise the grievous sins are, in fact, more disqualifying than what appears in the Oscar-winning film. And the backstabbing machinations are cvnt-ier.
While the jokes are good and the snark is strong, details related to Catholic history are much more interesting and often presented in a funnier way. For instance, the posthumous trial of Pope Formosus because his reign was so deeply troubled was called the Cadaver Synod, and it was such a horrible event that no other pope has ever used ‘Formosus’, and there has never been another Cadaver Synod. Several works of art are discussed in great detail under Cvntus’ proposed ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ game, receiving the eucharist near a work of art in the Vatican from Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo (St. Peter’s Basilica by Michelangelo doesn’t count, it’s too easy). One can imagine the Wikipedia rabbit hole that Fitzroy and their dramaturgs Juliano Zaffino and Megan Brewer went down.
CVNTCLAVE has a lot of clever humour, but it takes some time to get started. Fitzroy is very creative as a writer but not the strongest performer (and a few of us struggled to hear them over the box fan keeping us cool). There are genuine moments of outrage at the system, anger at God, and penitence for staying silent in the face of injustice; however, the show’s pacing and emotion are mostly at one level. For such a naughty title, it would be great to see more glee in Cvntus as they claw down their rivals and grasp for the holiest position.
For those fascinated by papal facts spanning about 2,000 years of history and some excellent barbs at knobs, go see CVNTCLAVE at Greenside at George Street, Lime Studio.
Listings and ticket information can be found here
